Although Joseph was a man of his times, he
nevertheless could be found at home doing things that surprised other men—no doubt
Emma appreciated these efforts, especially in light of the number of visitors
who came to the home for dinner or overnight accommodations, sometimes lasting
days and weeks.
One annoyed man reported that Joseph built
kitchen fires, carried out ashes from the fireplace, carried in wood and water
for home use, and assisted in taking care of the children—duties often
relegated to women. “Some of the home habits of the Prophet . . . were not in
accord with my idea of a great man’s self-respect,” Jesse W. Crosby noted.
Finally, Crosby, full of self-assurance,
confronted Joseph, hoping to give him some advice on how to manage his home. “Brother
Joseph, my wife does much more hard work than does your wife.” The Prophet
mildly reproved him by saying that a man who did not love and cherish his wife “and
do his duty by her, in properly taking care of her,” in this life would not be
with her in the next. Thereafter, Crosby noted, “I tried to do better by the
good wife I had and tried to lighten her labors” (See Lee C. LaFayette, “Recollections
of Joseph Smith,” LDS Church Archives; a published version is Hyrum L. Andrus
and Helen Mae Andrus, comps., They Knew
the Prophet [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1974], 145) (Richard Neitzel
Holzapfel and Jeni Broberg Holzapfel, Women
of Nauvoo [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1992], 28)