I wonder if it is possible for one
marriage partner to jettison the other and become completely whole. Either
partner who diminishes the divine role of the other in the presence of the
children demeans the budding femininity within the daughters and the emerging
manhood of the sons. I suppose there are always some honest differences between
husband and wife, but let them be settled in private.
The importance of this subject
emboldens me to say a word about covenant breaking. It must be recognized that
some marriages just fail. To those in that circumstance, I extend understanding
because every divorce carries heartache with it. I hope what I say will not be
disturbing. In my opinion, any promise between a man and a woman incident to a
marriage ceremony rises to the dignity of a covenant. The family relationship
of father, mother, and child is the oldest and most enduring institution in the
world. It has survived vast differences of geography and culture. This is
because marriage between man and woman is a natural state and is ordained of
God. It is a moral imperative. Those marriages performed in our temples, meant
to be eternal relationships, then, become the most sacred covenants we can
make. The sealing power given by God through Elijah is thus invoked, and God
becomes a party to the promises.
What, then, might be “just cause”
for breaking the covenants of marriage? Over a lifetime of dealing with human
problems, I have struggled to understand what might be considered “just cause”
for breaking of covenants. I confess I do not claim the wisdom or authority to
definitively state what is “just cause.” Only the parties to the marriage can
determine this. They must bear the responsibility for the train of consequences
which inevitably follow if these covenants are not honored. In my opinion,
“just cause” should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently
irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human
being.
At the same time, I have strong
feelings about what is not provocation for breaking the sacred covenants of
marriage. Surely it is not simply “mental distress,” nor “personality
differences,” nor having “grown apart,” nor having “fallen out of love.” This
is especially so where there are children. Enduring divine counsel comes from
Paul:
“Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25.)
“That they may teach the young
women to be sober, to love their husbands, [and] to love their children.”
(Titus 2:4.)
In my opinion, members of the
Church have the most effective cure for our decaying family life. It is for
men, women, and children to honor and respect the divine roles of both fathers
and mothers in the home. In so doing, mutual respect and appreciation among the
members of the Church will be fostered by the righteousness found there. In
this way, the great sealing keys restored by Elijah, spoken of by Malachi,
might operate “to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the
children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse.”
(D&C 110:15; see also Mal. 4:6.) (