The Marriage of
Marsha Nelson and Hugh Christopher McKellar
Date: Friday, November 20, 1979
Time: 1:00 p.m.
Place: Salt Lake Temple, Room 12
Officiating: Elder Boyd K. Packer,
apostle of the Lord and member of the Council of the Twelve.
Present: Marsha, Chris, all four
parents, and twenty-eight other close relatives and friends.
Elder Packer stressed that today a new
unit of the Church was being formed. This differs from the boundaries of wards
and stakes, which are set up merely for the convenience of administration and
are subject to change. The new unit of the Church is named after the holder of the
priesthood, and bears the name of McKellar, and Chris presides over this new
unit of the Church, which is an eternal unit.
Then he went on to indicate some
factors that might mitigate the success of this family unit:
1. Problems. When problems
arise, each should go to the other and not beyond, until the two of you have
had a chance to discuss it thoughtfully, and then prayerfully, to resolve the
problem. Then, it is proper to see counsel with the bishop, with the stake
president, and/or with parents.
2. Leadership. There should be
one breadwinner—Chris. Of course, during the phase of married life before the children
have come, and after they have gone from the home, it is less crucial; but when
there are children in the home, the most extravagant economy would be for the
spiritual loss of the mother from the home in return for what meager economic
gain she could contribute. There must be one father in the home and one mother
in the home, both honoring the priesthood, both placing the family first in
their list of priorities.
3. Children. The purpose of marriage
is children. Homes could be built, cars could be brought, other materials could
be possessed without the requirement of marriage. The loftiest purpose of the marriage
covenant is to provide for a family and invite children into the home. It is a wicked
and false doctrine extant in the world today that would lead one to avoid the responsibilities
of parenthood.
4. Parents Should Let Go of Their Responsibilities.
Here, he quoted the statement of President Hugh B. Brown, who referred to the
matrimonial ship, and said, “All ashore, we are going ashore, and the first
ones down the gangplank should be the in-laws.” This brought a little chuckle
of laughter, but the point was, that the ship of matrimony is now being run by
Marsha and Chris, and parental interference would not be appropriate, nor would
it be appropriate for anyone.
Then Elder Packer spoke to Chris and
said, “Chris, there would never be any infidelity on your part; there must
never be any wedge between you and your bride.” Then he turned to Marsha and
said, “There must never be any biting or spiteful remarks.” He then gave the illustration
of the couple who had engaged in an exchange of remarks that were made in
anger, and as the husband left the door she followed him down the walk to shout
one final biting and spiteful remark. Circumstances arose later in that day
which caused the husband’s life to be taken in an accident. The anguish in the
soul of that wife, who recalled that her last words to him were those of a biting
and spiteful remark, caused the opinion to be formulated that this kind of
comment should never be exchanged, for they would be the last words between two
who are in love.
Then he said that next Monday should be
the first family home evening and every Monday thereafter, and that the first family
prayer should be tonight, and thereafter on a regular basis.
After this preliminary counsel, he then
explained the ordinance about to be performed, first stressing the blessings of
the resurrection, that you will be blessed to come forth on the morning of the
first resurrection; then that you would have the right to dominions and powers
that can be achieved through activity in the Church and the faithful sustaining
of the priesthood; that you will have the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and
Jacob as pronounced in the Old Testament, and all of those other great
blessings that you will fall heir to. Then he mentioned the blessings of your
posterity, and that all blessings would be pertaining to the new and
everlasting covenant, which you are about to make.
Then he gave a final warning that
there are those influences in the world that would destroy the family. To this
extent, you must be separated from the world and those influences and teachings
that are contrary to the eternal and spiritual nature of the family. He
emphasized that your image must be the image of the priesthood, even though it
will cause some embarrassment on occasion, perhaps even heartbreak and possibly
violence. Yet, you must hang on to the image of the priesthood, for the family must
be intact in eternities to come.
Then he performed the marriage ceremony,
with Marsha on his left and Chris on his right. After this was done, they
kissed over the altar and then were called up beside him, where rings were
exchanged. He was a bit quizzical as Marsha placed the ring on Christ’s right fourth
finger, but she replied with a most significant remark: “I am doing it this
way, because this is the way Chris wants it.” This taught everyone a good
lesson on her willingness to be obedient to the leadership of the priesthood,
in righteousness. Again, they kissed to seal the exchange of the rings, and the
ceremony was concluded.” (Russell M. Nelson, From Heart to Heart: An
Autobiography [Salt Lake City: Quality Press, Inc., 1979], 215, 217-18)
